Tuesday Hoddle of Coffee: News and Links for November 7th, 2017

Good morning Spursland!

In order to inject a bit of variety into your favourite morning links post, I thought I’d try my hand at writing a bit of observational comedy. Let me know what you think of this:

Have you ever noticed how close friends and family start asking what they should get you for Christmas in early November every year- as if they don’t already know what you want? Every year you only ever ask for more crossbow bolts to defend your ornate chateau from marauders and packs of wolves- why would this year be any different?

Theme of the Day

Links

Danny Rose has thanked Mauricio Pochettino for allowing him a route back into the first team after his summer indiscretions. Sure, it was a route that involved crawling through 800 yards of raw sewage, electrical cables and vipers’ nests, but Poch needs to know you’re really sorry before he’s ready to forgive.

The CIES Football Observatory has valued the Tottenham squad at a stunning figure of £1.04bn. Seems like a bit of a futile exercise to me- assessing the monetary worth of this group of players is like trying to put a price on the Mona Lisa, the Great Pyramid of Gyza, or that feeling you get when you see Jose Mourinho looking sad.

Elsewhere in football...

Sam Allardyce has held talks with Everton majority shareholder Farhad Moshiri as the club searches for a replacement for Ronald Koeman. Say what you like about Big Sam’s methods, but I’m one of the people that believe that Everton have a good enough team to avoid relegation this year and Allardyce is the man that can help them make the best possible go of it.

And whilst we’re on Everton, Morgan Schneiderlin might be on the move again after reportedly walking out of training. In my opinion Spurs should definitely be taking a look- Harry Winks could use someone to give him lifts to and from the training ground until he’s old enough to drive.

The Football Supporters Federation says there is a ‘strong case’ for strengthening football club ownership rules in the wake of the leak of the Paradise Papers. Fans of Charlton, Blackpool, Leyton Orient, Leeds, Cardiff, Notts County, Blackburn, and Coventry say ‘no duh’.

Milan, Juventus, and Italy icon Andrea Pirlo has decided to finally hang up his boots after finishing the MLS season with NYCFC, citing a desire to spend more time on his secondary passion of standing on beaches in a half-buttoned up linen shirt staring intensely at sunsets. We’ll miss you, Maestro!

And finally...

Here’s Reading’s Farah Williams doing amazing Farah Williams stuff, as per.