The Brazilian defender's kick at Diego Costa left Arsenal down to 10 men going into the second half as they lost 2-0 to Chelsea.
But aside from raging that Costa should have been sent off just before, for lashing out at Laurent Koscielny, Wenger was also fuming with his own defender for letting himself be wound up too easily.
Costa was giving Gabriel some abuse as they walked towards the centre circle having both been booked moments earlier as arms flailed and tempers boiled.
But Wenger insisted that was still no justification for Gabriel then getting himself sent off.
"We warn the players not to get involved and I don't understand Gabriel because he usually looks a calm boy," said Wenger after labelling Costa as the biggest wind-up merchant in football.
"You have to be above that - that's part of the game. To be professional, to me, is to deal with that.
"You can spit in my face and if it's in a game then I will not respond. I do not guarantee that outside of the game. What I mean is that the desire to win has to be above all of that."
Wenger was also annoyed, with some justification, at referee Mike Dean for not getting involved as he allowed the two warring players to carry on abusing each other without stepping in.
"Yes, yes, he let it go and I don't know why," added Wenger.
The controversy took the focus away from Arsenal's second defeat in four days, having lost to Dinamo Zagreb in the Champions League.
And Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho could not resist a dig at Wenger for his team's continued failure to win the title, which is stretching into its 12th year.
He reckoned his rival had an amazing squad at his disposal, with the underlying suggestion being his rival was not making the most of what he's got.
"I think Arsenal has the squad to be champions," said Mourinho. "And every season I feel that.
"I like every player. I tell you if one of their players is a free agent and they don't want him there, I get every one. I like all of their players."
To be fair to Wenger and Arsenal, they were doing okay prior to Gabriel's dismissal and Alexis Sanchez fluffed a fantastic chance to equalise after Kurt Zouma put Chelsea ahead.
Santi Cazorla's sending-off for a second booking in the 79th minute ended any hopes of a comeback and Eden Hazard's deflected shot sealed the win for Chelsea.
Mourinho, who shook Wenger's hand before kick-off, refused to get carried away with another victory over his bitter rival, following their otherwise poor start to the new Premier League season.
"I saw some things back in the team, some qualities," he said.
"The team was compact. Everybody was defending. The attacking players made a fantastic contribution in that defensive work.
"In the first minutes, we lost some passes. We could feel, still, a little bit of not great confidence to play.
"After that we got back to stability, moving the ball well, with good positional play.
"In the same way two defeats don't kill a team, I don't think two victories bring the team to the top. But I don't think we'll be fighting against relegation in December."
CHELSEA (4-2-3-1): Begovic 6; IVANOVIC 8, Zouma 7, Cahill 6, Azpiliceuta 6; Fabregas 8 (Mikel 90), Matic 6; Pedro 7, Oscar 6 (Ramires 68, 6), Hazard 6; Costa 6 (Remy 81). Subs: Blackman, Falcao, Terry, Loftus-Cheek.
UP NEXT: Walsall (a), Capital One Cup, Wednesday.
ARSENAL (4-2-3-1): Cech 6; Bellerin 6, Gabriel 5, KOSCIELNY 7, Monreal 6; Cazorla 5, Coquelin 6 (Chambers 46, 6); Ramsey 6, Ozil 5 (Giroud 75), Sanchez 5 (Oxlade-Chamberlain 75); Walcott 6. Subs: Ospina, Debuchy, Gibbs, Arteta.
UP NEXT: Tottenham (a), Capital One Cup, Wednesday.
REFEREE: Mike Dean 5
STAR PLAYER: BRANISLAV IVANOVIC - More like his normal self
STAR SHOCKER: GABRIEL - Should have known better
RATING: 2
