UK Edition
Premier League Bingo: How many points can you score across this weekend's matches?
Huddersfield Town vs Tottenham Hotspur (Saturday, 12.30pm)
5 points: Spurs enjoy another game away from Wembley and notch up their fourth away league victory.
15 points: Last year's laughing stock Moussa Sissoko continues his Oumar Niasse impression with another solid display.
25 points: Mauricio Pochettino compares Harry Kane to peak Diego Maradona before telling the English media that they must not put too much pressure on him in a World Cup year.
Bournemouth vs Leicester City (3pm)
5 points: Islam Slimani scores a late equaliser as Leicester snatch a 2-2 draw at the Vitality Stadium.
15 points: Despite his persistent injury, an injection of vodka infused with Skittles gets Jamie Vardy through the 90 minutes.
25 points: Eddie Howe's stock continues to fall after more dropped points, so much so that he is linked with the England job.
Manchester United vs Crystal Palace (3pm)
5 points: The embattled visitors get to half-time at o-o but eventually succumb to a 3-0 defeat.
15 points: Inanimate carbon rod starts up front for Palace in the absence of Christian Benteke.
25 points: Romelu Lukaku delicately plucks a long-ball out of the sky with his left foot, keeps it up on his thigh a volleys into the top corner with his weaker right foot, but commentators insist it was down to his 'power' and 'brute force'.
Stoke City vs Southampton (3pm)
5 points: Two teams who will somehow finish in the top-half play out an instantly forgettable stalemate.
15 points: Southampton's mysterious inability to score a goal continues - despite the fact they have plenty of forwards and Stoke have Darren Fletcher at centre back.
25 points: Mark Hughes takes it upon himself to give Mauricio Pellegrino a 'welcome to England' message, winding him up throughout the 90 minutes.
West Brom vs Watford (3pm)
5 points: Kieran Gibbs continues to take all of West Brom's set-pieces like he is the best player on a school team.
15 points: Marco Silva gets a point away at a Tony Pulis team, proof he officially 'knows the league' after less than a year in England.
25 points: Pulis says he does not want to discuss the referee's performance, before discussing it at incredible, angry lengths.
West Ham vs Swansea City (3pm)
5 points: Slaven Bilic avoids the sack for another week with a messy 1-0 win in the Leon Britton-derby.
15 points: Renato Sanches starts to wonder if a loan spell with a team that actually tries to attack might have been a better idea.
25 points: Roy Keane is absolutely furious after brothers Andre and Jordan Ayew exchange pleasantries in the tunnel before the match.
Chelsea vs Manchester City (5.30pm)
5 points: Left-back-less Manchester City secure a score-draw away at Stamford Bridge, thanks to a Kevin De Bruyne goal against his former clubs.
15 points: The coinage 'El Cashico' is used as a moniker for this very modern rivalry.
25 points: Everyone keeps Sergio Aguero's car accident in perspective by moaning about the effect it had on their Fantasy Football plans.
Arsenal vs Brighton and Hove Albion (Sunday, 12 noon)
5 points: Arsenal's annual early autumn revival gathers pace with a 3-0 home victory.
15 points: The atmosphere at the Emirates threatens to boil over when a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc is sent windmilling into the home section from the away end.
25 points: Olivier Giroud scored the icing on the cake goal and begins his elaborate pre-planned celebration to celebrate becoming an Arsenal centurion in front of his home fans.
Everton vs Burnley (2.15pm)
5 points: Michael Keane gets a rousing reception from the travelling Burnley fans.
15 points: Not even Oumar Niasse can spare Everton from another underwhelming home performance and more dropped points.
25 points: Sean Dyche asks post-match, 'if Ronald Koeman can manage Barcelona, then so can I?'
Newcastle vs Liverpool (4.30pm)
5 points: Rafa Benitez's side are on the wrong end of a thrashing as Liverpool finally take their chances.
15 points: Jonjo Shelvey gets another red card as he tries to make an impression against his former club.
25 points: 'COLLYMORE CLOSING IN' gets at least three showings before kick-off on Sky, who show this fixture without fail whenever it is played.