These three managers will not be replacing Ronald Koeman at Everton, and here’s why

So, naturally, with Ronald Koeman gone, the plan is very simple - Everton are going to hire Carlo Ancelotti, sign Robert Lewandowski in January, and then win the FA Cup, the Europa League, and finish top four in the Premier League, right?

Let’s slow our roll. The Blues aren’t going to get Ancelotti, they aren’t going to get Thomas Tuchel, and probably aren’t even going to get Marco Silva. You want a flashy name that draws attention? Go throw a bunch of money at Ryan Giggs.

Here’s the thing: Everton is a B level job right now. The club clearly has some money, but not ‘hey let’s go win a Champion’s League’ type money. There’s a new stadium on its way, but the city of Liverpool isn’t Paris, London, Munich or Madrid. (In many ways this is a good thing, but in a world of high society football, it’s just not.) Let’s go through these names so you can see the inherent problems.

Carlo Ancelotti

Juventus, AC Milan, Chelsea, Paris Saint-Germain, Real Madrid, Bayern Munich, Everton.

Which of these is not like the other?

Everton want to be like the other clubs on the list, but aren’t there yet. Carlo Ancelotti isn’t the guy to take clubs to that level, he is the guy who manages clubs already at that level. We simply aren’t there yet, and that’s okay.

One thing to note is that while Ancelotti sounds wonderful, let’s remember that his greatest strength as a manager is his ability to handle egos and form them into a cohesive unit.

That’s not to say Carlo is not a great tactician, but what he does best is give self-motivated great players the ability to play with one another. One of the big reasons he did not work at Bayern is that he simply did not bring a lot of value added to a locker room that was already stable without him. Bayern is a superstar team, but they are one relatively low on egos.

So, coming into a squad like Everton, it would be a flashy signing, but with all the captaincy experience and age in our lineup, what Carlo does best isn’t needed. So he absolutely is not coming to Everton, but that’s perfectly fine.

Thomas Tuchel

Thomas Tuchel vs. Jurgen Klopp, Merseyside Derby/Dortmund grudge match. It has all the makings for great TV, but it’s not going to happen.

Let’s envision this scenario, shall we?

You’re born in West Germany, you have a not-very-illustrious playing career, but managing goes well for you. You spend a little time at Mainz, and then low and behold you have a hot start to a season there, you beat Bayern Munich, and everyone wants you.

You parlay that into a job at the second biggest club in the country - Borussia Dortmund.

Photo by Alexander Hassenstein/Bongarts/Getty Images

Your last act as Dortmund manager was winning the Super Pokal, but issues with the brass there means it didn’t work out. Now, at 44 years old, you are the hottest German born coaching free agent on the planet, you’ve spent your whole life in Germany, and you know for a fact that the Bayern Munich job is coming open next season.

WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU COME TO A DUMPSTER FIRE AT EVERTON AND RISK YOUR MANAGERIAL REPUTATION?

Marco Silva

“We’re bigger than Watford” is basically the argument for why Silva would come to Everton, right? But we know that Watford has been better than Everton so far this year, and we also know that Arsenal job is open sooner rather than later, and we also know that PSG is probably going to replace Emery if he doesn’t win the Champions League.

We also know that Allegri is off to a really bad start this year at Juventus, and that a move there can set off a crazy coaching carousel that might even open up the Chelsea job, among others.

You’re the hottest coaching prospect in England, why are you giving up the plucky underdog narrative now to go to Everton when you can ride out this year, be a hero at Watford for finishing mid table, and then go find a really big fish next year?

Photo by Matthew Lewis/Getty Images

Self Awareness

Times like these require a fanbase to be self aware. Know how big a club you are, and know what your options actually are. Everton aren’t getting a world class coaching superstar; the teams that do that are the teams that just fired a coaching superstar.

Be patient - the Blues’ time as a club will come, but it won’t come with trying to overreach now nor will it come with expecting whoever we do hire to be as good as Carlo Ancelotti. (Oh, and it won’t come from acting like Unsworth’s middle name is ‘Fergie’ either.)