Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high. And the dreams that you dreamed of, once in a lullaby. Oh, and Arsenal would like to sign Kylian Mbappé, which is good of them given that there is not one single reason for Mbappé to sign for Arsenal. But no one can say that they didn’t try, and that’s what’s important. Of course, it may be that he has a secret yen for Thursday trips to Shymkent and Marijampole, for being indulged to within a millimetre of his life and to trouble melting like lemon drops high above the chimney pots. But probably not.
Arsène Wenger is also keen on Mbappé’s teammate, Thomas Lemar, and Lyon’s Alexandre Lacazette. He attempted to nab the latter last summer, but his bid of £30m was turned down, and a few goals later the price has nudged up to £60m. For their part, Lyon have said that Arsenal can have Lacazette in a player-plus-cash deal for Olivier Giroud, a particularly cruel joke, but anyway, Lacazette fancies himself in the Champions League.
Players are also expected to forsake Arsenal. Despite being the greatest talent in the history of all sport, it is possible that Mesut Özil might be allowed to leave, so too Lucas Pérez, Kieran Gibbs, Carl Jenkinson, Mathieu Debuchy and England’s Jack Wilshere. One at a time please, don’t all rush at once.
Across London, one-club hero John Terry is looking for a new club. Aston Villa, Birmingham City and West Bromwich Albion are all keen.
Further north, the Manchester clubs plan to divest themselves of unwanted encumbrances. City would like rid of Samir Nasri, though need to reduce their asking price of £16m due to lack of interest; the multi-millionaire player no doubt understands his plight as simply a symbol of being against the system. And now that Pep Guardiola’s genius for spotting a talent has acquired him not only the world’s most expensive uncapped goalkeeper but the world’s most expensive goalkeeper, Willy Caballero is for the off; Chelsea are set to take him to Stamford Bridge.
United, meanwhile intend for Chris Smalling to do one. José Mourinho is thought to doubt both his footballing ability and mental toughness, something of a problem for a footballer expected to be tough, and has already replaced him with Victor Lindelöf. As such, he will not cost a lot of money, depending on what one deems a lot of money – a mere £15m might get the deal done – and Arsenal, West Ham, West Brom and Everton have sent notice of their vacancy for an injury-prone defender with a particular fondness for conceding possession, getting caught under high balls and losing men in the box.
Finally, in other centre-back news, Leicester like the look of Hull’s Harry Maguire, who is apparently worth more than two-time league champion, Chris Smalling. So far they have offered £16.5m, and £20m is expected to be enough to snare his services. Also interested are Tottenham and Newcastle, though the player is keen to play regularly and will take any decision with that in mind.