SPURSDAY NIGHT NO MORE
Times are changing in north London. In years gone by Tottenham Hotspur were the also-rans, forced to watch on enviously as Arsenal savoured countless famous Big Cup nights. There are so many wonderful memories, it’s hard to pick a stand-out moment. There was the time they lost 5-1 away to Bayern Munich. And also the time they lost 5-1 at home to Bayern Munich. There were so many battling, brave performances. The 4-0 defeat to Robinho’s Milan. Robin van Persie’s red card against Barcelona. Olivier Giroud’s finishing masterclass against Monaco. So many priceless contributions. Arsenal sure were missed from this week’s opening round of Big Cup matches. At least the Queen’s Celtic paid tribute to them by losing 5-0 to Paris Saint-Germain; a real classy touch from Brendan’s lot.
Tottenham didn’t seem too fussed about Arsenal’s absence, though. For years they were forced to pretend they cared about Euro Vase. Then last season they failed to make it out of a Big Cup group containing Bayer Leverkusen, currently second bottom in the Bundesliga. But last night they got their campaign off to a flyer against the best team in the Bundesliga, banishing their Wembley hoodoo thanks to a 3-1 win over Borussia Dortmund, who at least got to know how Spain felt after having two goals disallowed in their Euro 96 quarter-final against England at the same stadium. Arsène Wenger, meanwhile, was sat in front of the television at home, watching all the action, definitely not getting upset and changing the channel, no doubt loving watching every minute of Mauricio Pochettino’s side maturely grinding out the win. “We played like adults,” Toby Alderweireld said, a sentence rarely uttered by any Arsenal player after a big match.
At least Wenger gets to leave the house tonight, though, as Arsenal ready themselves for their first Euro Vase adventure since the 1999-00 season, when a really good team containing English, European and world champions got to the final and, er, proceeded to Arsenal it up, losing to Galatasaray on penalties. If only Patrick Vieira hadn’t selected power drive, Wenger might have won a European trophy by now. Instead the quest goes on, starting with a visit from Cologne/Köln, who are even worse than Leverkusen, having adopted the Crystal Palace approach to their opening three league matches. Arsenal can probably afford to take this one easy before heading to Chelsea on Sunday, which is why Wenger is planning to hand starts to stars of the future like Reiss Nelson, Ainsley Maitland-Niles and Theo Walcott. There could even be a return for Union Jack Wilshere, who once had a good game against Barcelona in 2011, coincidentally the last time Arsenal looked like achieving anything of note in Europe. If that thought doesn’t cheer up all three Arsenal fans watching at the Emirates this evening, nothing will.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“He has more trophies in his cupboard than I have underpants” – Hoffenheim boss Julian Nagelsmann, 12, tries to distance himself from replacing Carlo Ancelotti at Bayern by downplaying the contents of his top drawer.
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FIVER LETTERS
“David Lucas [Wednesday’s Fiver] suggests 1,024 fans were asked about Big Cup. By my reckoning that makes it less popular by 33 than the Fiver. I know BT Sport’s viewing figures were lower than they’d hoped, but I didn’t realise things were this bad” – Ed Taylor, and 1,056 others.
“I fear Scott Pratt is mixing his Simpsons children. The mascot in question is clearly a terrifying portrait of Maggie Simpson’s mono-browed nemesis, Baby Gerald. Although Liam Gallagher would come a close second” – Joe Mercer.
“Having lived in [Basel/Basle/Baaaarrrl] for 9 years I have tried on numerous occasions to get the moniker for the city to be accurate with The Fiver - so here it is one more time.. Basel(DE)/Bâle(FR)/Basilea(IT/ROM). You will continue with the [Basel/Basle/Baaaarrrl] attempt (though it is only used in English, because [Basel/Basle/Baaaarrrl] is just so hard to understand) and the AAARRL one but I will continue the fight. On a football note after winning the Swiss league very year I lived there FC [Basel/Basle/Baaaarrrl] are actually pretty pants this year. You can’t just keep on selling all your decent players” – Mark Bennett.
“I have to say I think you’re being awfully cynical about #BigCup. I mean yeah, we all know that an English side will duff its way through to the knockout rounds and be talked up as a contender just in time to suffer a gallant defeat to a vastly superior Spanish side, but the joy is in finding out which one” – Morgan Campbell.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Mark Bennett.
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NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
The FA is considering launching a new investigation into Mark Sampson after Drew Spence, the first player to allege he had made a racial remark, came forward to tell the governing body that what Eni Aluko has said about the England women’s team manager was true.
Because they are top, top people as well as top, top players, USA! USA!! USA!!! World Cup winners Megan Rapinoe and Alex Morgan have signed up to Juan Mata’s initiative for footballers to donate 1% of their wages to charidee.
The independent inquiry into football’s sexual-abuse scandal has heard claims that Graham Taylor, the former England manager, was involved in a cover-up at Aston Villa which led to other boys being exposed to a paedophile who was working for the club as a scout and later convicted of a string of offences over a 13-year period.
Toby Alderweireld believes Tottenham were able to beat Dortmund in Big Cup by acting their age at Wembley for once. “We didn’t play like children,” roared the Belgian. “We played like adults.”
Spartak Moscow have been charged by Uefa after a fan – who wasn’t lost at sea as far as we can tell – fired a flare at the referee during their 1-1 draw at Maribor in Big Cup.
Paul Pogba is likely to be out for a month after suffering hamstring-twang in Manchester United’s 3-0 win over Basel/Basle/Baaaarrrl.
Carlos Tevez has been told he won’t play again for Shanghai Shenhua unless he sheds a few pounds – which gives the motivationally-challenged handsomely-remunerated striker absolutely no incentive to slim down really. “Both [Tevez] and Guarin are overweight. When you are on the pitch, if you can’t play at 100%, then it is completely meaningless,” sniffed manager Wu Jingui.
Sevilla manager Eduardo Berizzo took the creative route when explaining his sending off against Liverpool. “When we were winning and Liverpool were on the counter I did something that wasn’t right, I threw the ball to stop the advantage of a counter-attack. I realised that was a mistake,” wibbled Berizzo. “However in the second half, when we were losing and chasing the game, I still decided to throw the ball away to make up for [my actions in] the first half so I tried to do the same.”
Because they’re good at football, Germany have raced back to the top of the Fifa world rankings. Brazil are second, His’ Portugal are third while Wales are up to 13, just above Peru in 12th, and two places above plucky England, with Northern Ireland hot on their heels in 20th.
Expect to see England under-16 midfielder Charlie McCann sent out on loan to Bolton in 2020 after the 15-year-old was plucked from Coventry’s academy by Manchester United for an undisclosed compensation fee.
And USA! USA!! USA!!! midfielder Christian Pulisic couldn’t give a flying one what Alexi Lalas thinks of him. “Everybody has a platform to fire off a hot take whenever they want – it’s life,” he soothed. “One of the recent [sayings] that I’ve seen that I like is: ‘The lion doesn’t care about the opinion of the sheep.’ I’ll leave it at that.”
STILL WANT MORE?
Barney Ronay liked what he saw at Wembley, where Harry Kane’s leadership from the front got Spurs over the line against Borussia Dortmund.
Arsenal and Jack Wilshere may have both enjoyed better days in Europe, but Big Vase offers the no-longer-knacked midfielder a chance to shine, writes Paul MacInnes.
A misty-eyed Barry Glendenning takes us back to January 2007, when Mika ruled the charts and a 17-year-old Scott Sinclair lit up Underhill with a superlative solo effort.
Crystal Palace players won’t be enjoying any relaxing day trips with Mr Roy in charge – just ask Terry Burton and James Morrison, who worked with him at West Brom.
In Wednesday’s Mill: Union Jack Wilshere to Palace? Alexis Sánchez to Real Madrid? Only 14 more weeks until the transfer window opens!
Ivan Perisic has a foot like a traction engine, and plenty more in this week’s YouTube roundup.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!