Job done for United thanks to preposterous goal, scored by Rashford with the aid of a sad misjudgement by Benfica’s 18-year-old goalkeeper, Mile Svilar. That was a suitably pitiful way to decide a dreary contest. At the final whistle, Lukaku spends several moments encouraging the young goalkeeper, who is a compatriot of his and perhaps could still go on to be a team-mate in the senior national team. If he does, he’ll remember Lukaku’s kindness. That’s classy from the big man.

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90+3 min: Lukaku bangs his freekick into the wall, laying out Augusto in the process.

RED CARD! Luisao cops a second booking for lunging at McTominay after the youngster pounced on a ball that squirted out to him after Luisao had dispossessed Lukaku. So there’s another Champions League debutant who’s made a big impact today.

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United substitution: McTominay on, Mkhitaryan off.

90 min: There will be four more minutes, at least. It may feel like six years.

89 min: Benfica win another corner, this time after a preposterous shank by Blind. The corner comes to nothing.

88 min: Douglas misjudges a long clearance by United following a corner by Benfica. For a moment it looks like Martial is in. but Luisao tidies up smartly.

87 min: Smalling heads Cervi’s corner away at the near post. Smalling has been good today. Rashford and Matic have also been strong.

84 min: Cervi’s first contribution is to win a corner. United are slack in defending it, so Dias gets a clear shot on from eight yards, in line with the front post. It’s an awkward shot, though, as he was jumping as if preparing to head it and ended up having to essay a sidefooted volley. It goes a couple of yards wide.

Benfica substitution: Cervi on, Salvio off

83 min: Augusto tries a shot from 25 yards - which is about the distance that all of Benfica’s shots have come from today. It takes a deflection and balloons high into the air before dropping into the arms of De Gea.

81 min: United are strangling this game now.

78 min: Luisao and Svilar spent several moments in conversation while Rashford was being replaced. Perhaps they were discussing a previous exchange, ie the one that Joseph Shinners says took place before the goal: “Luisao and ther defenders were telling Svilar to come out further before the kick was taken - he’s not fully to blame.”

77 min: Rashford has hobbled off. It’s not clear what the problem is but he definitely picked up an injury of some sort. Mourinho consults with him on the sideline and, if the expression on the managers face is anything to go by, neither man feels the injury is long-term one. On trots Martial in Rashford’s place.

76 min: Benfica don’t look good enough to get back into this. And De Gea certainly isn’t going to offer them the sort of present that United have been given.

75 min: A minor scare in the United box after Zivkovic and Jonas combine. But it was all bit rushed, so much so that Jonas fell over as he tried to shoot.

72 min: In the other match in this group, by the way, Basel area leading 1-0 at CSKA Moscow.

Benfica substitution: Jonas on, Goncalves off.

Oh dear. That’s a nightmare for the young goalkeeper. In fairness to another youngster, Rashford exploited Svilar’s naivety well: having noticed that the keeper had got lost under the last few corners, the United player floated an in-swinging freekick towards the net ... and Svilar backpedalled so far that he didn’t catch it until it had already crossed the line. That’s a severe lesson for the 18-year-old.

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63 min: It’s scrappy. “If Benfica win this (I actually find the game fascinating) will Liverpool get the blame?” wonders Ian Copestake. Well, you have to admit that Henderson, Can and Wijnaldum are really strong...

62 min: Rashford’s in-swinging corner from the left almost swings directly into the net! Svilar punches it over the bar - just about - when he could have got it.

60 min: Excellent cross-field ball by Rashford to Mata. But Mata’s attempt to pick out Lukaku in the middle is sadly inaccurate.

Benfica substitution: Zivkovic on, Pizzi off.

57 min: Rashford has been good in this half so far. His smart runs are making midfields’ decisions easy. And when he gets the ball. he makes shrewd use of it. He has just teed up Lukaku at the edge of the box. ut Lukaku let the ball run away from him as he tried to dribble around a defender. His touch has been unusually clunky so far.

55 min: Now it’s Blind’s turn to abort a counter-attack with a brazen foul. He, too, escapes a booking.

54 min: Smalling gets a commanding header to an in-swinging freekick. Good thing, too, because Luisao was poised to nod in from close range. Rashford leads a counter-attack but is chopped down by Goncalvez, who somehow escapes a booking.

52 min: According to reports, Algeria have just appointed Rabah Madjer as their new manager. Now there’s a man who knows how to light up a big night of European competition, as Benfica fans will no doubt be happy to remember ...

51 min: From a throw-in on the left, Rashford rolls his marker and the ball sits up nicely for him, inviting him to have a crack. He does so, from 25 yards. Svilar makes a comfortable save.

50 min: Jimenez slips a pass through to Salvio, who’s got behind Blind down the left. He curls a low pass towards Goncalves at the far post. but Lindelof cuts it out.

48 min: Blind sends one into the channel for Rashford to chase. Rashford gets to it and picks out a mature pass to Mkhitaryan at the edge of the area. The Armenian rolls the ball into the path of Herrera, who hits it on the run from about 25 yards. And it goes wide by about the same. The standard of shoots has been obnoxiously bad so far.

46 min: The “action” resumes.

“It’s a bright sunny day here in Philadelphia and my neighbour Dave is having his house painted,” wows Justin Kavanagh. “I’m torn now between watching the second half of this dross or the relative spectacle of going outside and seeing the paint dry on his walls.” You should go outside and help him: that would make Mourinho a kind of Tom Sawyer of our times.

The scoreline is a fair reflection of the match so far. Neither side deserve to be in front. Svilar, Benfica’s 18-year-old European debutant of a goalkeeper, has barely been tested. Nether has De Gea. Champions League, you’re having a laugh.

44 min: Augusto has a shot from 35 yards. Oh dear. That should be shot with an ‘i’.

42 min: United spring forward on a counter-attack. Lukaku makes a decoy run. Mkhitaryan carries the ball into the box and the lets fly with a shot from 16 yards ... but he shanks it horribly.