That was a game of three thirds. West Ham were superior for the first half hour, Spurs were magnificent either side of half-time to go 3-0 up - but they had to survive a late onslaught after the sending off of Serge Aurier. Thanks for your company, you can follow all the 3pm games here.
Spurs have held on to win their third consecutive away game in the league this season.
90+6 min Yellow cards all round: Carroll, Llorente and, I think, Alderweireld.
90+5 min It’s all kicking off now! It started with a foul by Carroll on someone, and now players on both sides are shoving each other. It’s a bit more than manbags, though I don’t think any punches were thrown. Chicharito, who has already been booked, might be in trouble.
90+3 min Ayew is booked for a lunge at Davies.
90+2 min Carroll’s long-range shot deflects behind for another corner. Cresswell curls a lovely outswinger towards the far post, where Carroll arrives imperiously ... and then heads the ball away from goal! He ended up ahead of the ball. Did he mistime his run or was he shoved by Sanchez? Carroll thinks the latter. There was some contact, but it’s hard to judge whether it was enough for a penalty.
90+1 min There will be four minutes of added time. Spurs suddenly looked ragged.
90 min Masuaku, who has made a significant impact on the left wing since coming on, wins a corner for West Ham. Cresswell takes it short to Masuaku, gets the return and stands up a gentle, deep cross that Lloris can only fingertip towards the right corner of the box. Reid runs round the ball and wallops it into orbit. He should have lifted that back into the area before Lloris was out of his goal.
89 min For Spurs, a cheery stroll has turned into a grim struggle for survival. They make their final substitution, with Fernando Llorente replacing the magnificent Harry Kane.
Oh my. Is something brilliant happening? Masuaku beats Winks on the left and curls in a beautiful cross to the far post. Kouyate attacks it at pace, gets above Davies and thumps a memorable header through the leaping Lloris. That was a brilliant goal.
82 min Carroll, who has had an absolute beast since coming on, ruins a promising attack with a needless foul on Davies.
81 min Chicharito is booked for a foul on Dier. Spurs are pretty comfortable, even with 10 men.
80 min Alli and Kane break dangerously for Spurs, but Alli can’t find the moment or angle for a shot and the danger passes. Moments later, Kouyate is booked for something or orher.
79 min Chicharito’s volleyed backflick hits Sanchez in the chest. While everyone is appealing for a penalty Chicharito collects the loose ball and smashes a shot from 15 yards that is beaten away by Lloris. Had that been anywhere near either corner I think he’d have scored.
78 min Another Spurs change: Kieran Trippier replaces Mohamed Sissoko at right wing-back.
77 min Carroll drags a shot well wide from the edge of the area. West Ham have been far too excitable since Spurs went down to 10 men.
75 min “It’s nice to see there’s at least one cavernous, divisive London stadium in which Spurs can win,” honks Matt Dony.
74 min A substitution apiece: Harry Winks for Christian Eriksen, and Arthur Masuaku for Jose Fonte. West Ham have gone to a back four, Spurs are now playing a 3-5-1 formation.
73 min West Ham need to calm down a bit. The red card has given them fresh hope, but they’ve been a little giddy in the few minutes since, hammering cross and shots from all angles.
71 min Spurs have moved Sissomo to right wing-back in a 3-3-2-1 formation.
70 min He’s an accident waiting to happen, this chap. He lunged at Carroll, who was leading a West Ham break, and a second yellow card was a reasonable decision from Michael Oliver.
68 min Noble crosses from a deep position on the right to Hernandez, who strains his neck muscles like a cuckolded Bruce Banner to power a header towards goal from 15 yards. It’s too close to Lloris, who saves comfortably, but it was a good effort.
67 min “To be fair Rob, Danny is right,” says Alistair Donegan. “West Ham look a bit poo.”
They do now. I thought they were the better team for half an hour.
66 min Andre Ayew replaces Marko Arnautovic for West Ham.
West Ham have got one back. Cresswell’s excellent corner is headed across goal by Fonte, and Chicharito backpedals into space to head in from four yards. A classic Chicharito goal.
64 min Serge Aurier has been asking for a yellow card all day and now he’s got one for a foul on Carroll.
63 min Kane hits the other post! He ran at Reid on the left side of the box, shifted the ball down the line and cracked an early left-footed shot that rattled off the outside of the post. It seems Hart got a slight touch with his right foot as a corner has been given.
62 min Spurs were subdued for half an hour, but since the goal they have been quietly majestic. They are such a lovely team to watch. All right-thinking neutrals should want them to win the league this year.
Game over. Kane, on a hat-trick, hits the post with a sensational free-kick, whacked across goal from an absurd angle on the left. The ball comes to Aurier, whose deflected cross bounces nicely for Eriksen to sidefoot a classy half-volley into the corner from 15 yards.
56 min Sissoko slides a straight pass into the area for Alli, who tries a clever turn back inside Reid and goes over. His penalty appeals are ignored by Michael Oliver. I thought Reid got something on the ball but replays show he didn’t. Whether he got enough of Alli to warrant a penalty is debatable; you could also argue that the sharpness of the turn was the main reason for Alli going down.
54 min This game is really open now, with West Ham trying to rough Spurs up. The next goal feels even more important than usual. This game could conceivably end 3-2 or 0-6.
52 min West Ham are starting to lump a few crosses into the area for Carroll. So far Spurs have dealt with him comfortably.
49 min Eriksen fouls Noble just outside the area on the right. Cresswell dinks in the free-kick and Vertonghen heads clear. Spurs break three-on-two only for Alli to overrun the ball.
48 min Arnautovic and Cresswell combine to win a corner. It’s headed away by Alderweireld.
47 min “Not sure what game you’re watching to call this scoreline a lie - West Ham had some dangerous looking runs into the box early on but no clear chances to speak of (Aurier’s hands on Arnautovic during his brilliant tackle would have been a soft penalty to give),” says Danny Michaux. “Spurs usually take a while to find a rhythm, and since Kane’s offside miss 25 minutes they’ve looked comfortably in control, even more so since Antonio came off injured.”
Cheers Danny. I don’t know if I could this do this without you.
46 min West Ham begin the second half, kicking from right to left.
There are lies, damned lies and this half-time scoreline, but Spurs won’t care about that. Harry Kane scored twice in four minutes to flatten a buoyant West Ham, who have a job on to get anything out of the game. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.
45+1 min “Arnautovic + Carroll, time for some kick and rush?” says Yoann Lechenault. “Come on England, we know you want it!”